thinking

ive done a lot of thinking about what happened yesterday and it was an extremely nervewrecking situation for me...it was a lot about what i was feeling about what had happened and explaining why i thought it had happened...i know they want to help and i know they are trying to help and be supportive and keep me in the program and i am glad i think but i dont know...did i really want my teacher to find out? i thought i had done a good job writing about cutting without giving myself away and i didnt and i relalyl should have known better...i mean these are social workers who have been doing this for forever and i must be the most naive person alive to think she wouldnt have figured it out eventually...i mean i was seriously shocked when she asked about it...but did i want her to and even if i might have wanted her to no where in there did i want her to go tell my other teacher...if i had to pick two teachers that did know then there ok because i do like them and look up to them..i mean i told my teacher i was mad at her! and she was ok with it..i mean she told me she was ok with it...i havent figured it out yet...im ok with them knowing now that i know where they stand on it i guess...but theres still a part of me that wishes no one knew...i should have known it wouldnt stay a secret in the social work program though...im so stupid sometimes