right now my head is feeling really foggy...ive trying to go over what i talked about today and have since i was able to leave my teachers office. which they have another meeting set up so they can see if i am doing what i need to do if my doc leaves. i even told my teach i wasnt ok with her more so what she did by telling my other teacher..and she was ok with that too..i know i wont stay mad at her though because i do know why she did it..they made sure i knew why she did it and they made me say it so they knew i knew...but its not the first time its happened to me either...i somehow manage to find the people who will find a way to make me talk if i want to or not...so now two of my teachers know about the cutting which i had to admit to sincee they both knew already but i still had to say it...im trying really hard to trust them and what they say..im tried really hard to trust arran and now she might be leaving. i dont want her to leave..i dont want her to forget and im still trying hard not to deal with it...im being forced in a way to deal with it...my teachers want to know ill be ok...and they want to know what i will be planning to do without my doc if she does leave...and until today i had forgotten completely about what happens at the end of july :( not a good time at all to be without a doc of any sort...i dont know...so much stuff to think about
updating on this one to save time and im out of headings at the moment...feeling like a huge pig but drinking juice right now....hmm what did i eat today.. literally a not even a spoon full of yogurt and a half a bite of a brownie..well yvonne called it a crumb of brownie cas i ended up watching her eat lunch cas i didnt like mine...so i had ice for lunch and a lil bit of a drink..then i was a dork and ate pretzels and candy in one of my classes because i was so hungry...and then had spaghetti o's and toast for dinner...so yea ive been a pig today...i should starve...but anyway ..drinking juice to help get some fluids in cas i can be sure i havent had more than 30oz of fluids..guessing of course..cas i didnt bother drinking my water and i drunk off of one 20oz all day and im not finished it yet...and i had a lil water and now juice and since im sleepy i most likely wont be drinking anything else today....i really do know i should drink more but i dont know..just cant...so i went to the peta website yesterday for what ever reason and was looking around it and ran into the video part of it..now i know im easily impressionable and i knew i shouldnt have watched the videos i did but i watched them anyway and to say they were harsh is putting it lightly! god i feel so guilty for having eggs and milk in the fridge...im afraid to eat the eggs and milk in the fridge...im afraid to eat anything that has to do with animals right now...i cant eat it..its freaking me out...im thinking i should prolly mention to my doc that i stopped eating meat and just about everything else too ...i have a lot to mention to my doc it seems :S
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