there is a lot going on in my head right now..i watched a fairly depressing movie..but before that i read a fairly depressing book..both had hopeful endings but to get to that spot you uhad to get throough all the hells of addiction that they were dealing with..i didnt do it on purpose..but now i am just feeling sad and out of sorts and tired and just unsure...
today hasnt even been a bad day..a little bit boring but not a bad day..maybe its just me..maybe there is something wrong with me..and i know this is prolly my head moving into irrationality..but its like why cant i be happy..why cant i be more interested in my day or more interested in doing stuff.instead of just like reading or watching movies or eating to much..and then i complain of being bored..i accomplish nothing..and do nothing..and just i dont know..i am feeling pretty bad right now though..maybe its just the accumulation of everything this week..maybe its the anxiety from earlier today..my desire to over medicate is really strong right now...
and i think ill skip church tomorrow...im not feeling very strong in faith or reasoning or god or anything right now...well i think im skipping church tomorrow...im not feeling really religious at all right now...
my thoughts are feeling a bit stuck on rewind right now...crap
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