this week..

well i made it to friday..i made it...without hurting myself...i didnt cut, i didnt purge..i didnt do anything harmful..ok so maybe making meals out of junk food could have been avoided but whatever...this week has thrown a lot at me..and i have been upset and sad for most of the week..my feelings have been hurt..i have felt betrayed..confused..lost..but i cant let all the not so good stuff overshadow the good stuff..

i was proud of myself for finishing my peer education class..i was proud of myself for getting most of my notes turned in on monday...i was happy being helpful and trying hard you know... the bad stuff was bad yes.but i tend to forget the good stuff...and i did see t this week..and i did get attention and encouragement from friends..and family this week...and yesterday when things just felt so overwhelming and not ok..i came home instead of doing things to make myself feel worse..

this weekend im planning on trying to do some fun things for myself..like getting my nails done..maybe go shopping for 1 new outfit..go to a movie..im going to my workshop thingy too.

and i have things to look forward too..possibly visiting nia in july, having a friend visit me in july, planning a trip to cancun...being able to get my passport..yes i work and have an income..and so i will bounce back from this week..i will..it just is taking me a little time to process and deal with it all.. thats all

if im sad..then im sad..but the sadness will go away again...it always does... and today is a new day..and i will get paid..and im waiting for my bank stuff to show up..but it will be ok..obviously them taking my stuff meant they needed it...but i dont know why..and im just trying to move on cas its over and done with...my old stuff is cancelled..and ill be getting new stuff..and ill be getting a smaller bag..and my bag will be staying in the trunk of my car while im working...and ill just keep my little snappy wallet on me if i need something...it happening once..was just bad luck..but i wont set myself up for it to happen again ... no i wont..

"It is not uncommon to fall down and cry, but do not stay down and drown in your tears. For when you start believing in yourself, doors will begin opening and greener paths unraveling. You will see the things hidden before by your sorrows. Rise up and go forward where your hope is telling you to go." - Dodinsky,