Friday, June 08, 2012

murky waters

my head has been full of mud today...murky water..slow..struggling to make thoughts and connections and just wanting to sleep...note to self ..3 klonopin in one day leads to an inability to function the next day..i just really truly had no interest in anything at all and it took me all morning to even get to the point of getting out of bed and getting dressed..just to realize that i had left the house without my wallet and yeah just a lot of struggling today with needing to stay focused and not able to..i dont think i cared about anything today..and that was the problem..i was tired and not caring..neither happy or sad..just ugh.i dont know..im hoping that once i get to sleep and wake up again tomorrow will be better..i think im still trying to  sleep off the extra meds i took and its just taking so long...i feel like all i do lately is just wor kand sleep..and it more sleep than work..i come home and lay down and i go to sleep..i wake up in the morning and depending on the day i either get right up and manage to get moving or i get up and have to end up laying back down because im still so tired...and i kknow im still adjusting to the meds and everything and i guess it would help if i took them correctly too..but yeah..

i havent cut and im trying hard hard super hard not to purge...

this is my life..im sleeping it away currently...but i think ill take the empty sleepiness to the chaotic spazzing out ..

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