a time when i was happy...i think

you know...i was thinking tonight of a time when i was happy..a time when my job drove me crazy but i still managed to love my kids..still managed to enjoy working with them and seeing them..and being around them..when working didnt bore me to tears.. the more i think about it..the more i am thinking that my job bores me...i mean i can do my job without thinking to much..i can do it without much effort i guess is what i am trying to say. i like my job i do..but its not a challenge to me anymore ..i know my clients..im learning the system of where i live..and im used to doing the same thing every day... its not hard at all..and i think it is making me want to figure out what to do..where i want to go..i dont know ...maybe its been since my supervisor mentioned that i would have to look into getting a desk job if i didnt get a handle on my anxiety surrounding court and being in court..but i dont know...i know right now i just really want a change..something different..but im not in a place right now to even begin to look at changing jobs or moving...this time next year i guess ill be looking at changing something...but for now..who knows..i know i want to go back to working with kids..i think i may want to go back to residential...who knows..i may wonder if ive died if i go back to talisman...goodness...but i know that eventually ill find my way back to asheville...if i cant figure out anything else though..i do  know that...i was happy in asheville..i liked asheville.