confused

I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Ive been watching episodes of the l word. Its an interesting show you know but the umm sex scenes are like wow. Like nothing is really left out and its like holy cow. I know I'm an adult and everything but it really feels wrong to watch it and see it and respond to it..ugh I don't understand. I watch and question myself and my umm pretended and I don't understand. I still feel very confused about my past supervisor who I was going crazy over. And I miss her and miss talkinng to her and seeing her. Hen I have the guy who I'm sorta talking to and I feel nothing for him. I don't want to know him. I don't feel like I could be attracted to him. I just am not sure about it. Its just caonfusing and I wish I could understtand Myself