not good

im on a serious quest to find a job...well currently waiting to hear hopefully back from the ppl i interviewed with last week.but if not then will have to look around some more for another job..just cant handle being at home anymore told the mom a couple days ago or something that i would move out so i could get another cat..she laughed it off and told me to do what i had to do...i was talking to my sister yesterday about how if i got another job that i would move out..and my mom asked me about it later on..and i told her yea..but i said i would do it because i wanted to save on gas which is true..i dont think i could deal with telling her that i was moving out because being at home made me feel stupid and suicidal..for some reason i dont think that would go over to well...but its just each week it gets a little harder to be here..my head is not ok..cut last night and i feel more guilty that im not sorry about it..not that i did it..