tgif

i have never been so happy to see a friday..im sick of work..im sick of everything right now..and maybe im just overly tired and wornout..maybe im just stressing over bills and money and lack there of.. i dont know..the first friday in forever that i actually came home after work..no babysitting no anything..and do you know what im told to do? make sure i clean the house..so i wont have to do it tomorrow..yes i dont have to work but i will seemingly spend my friday afternoon/evening cleaning..yes thats what i want to do..im so excited i can barely contain myself gee what was i thinking coming home and hoping to do something i wanted to do..


but yesterday had a semi texting chat with a friend and she mentioned that she wanted to go to india..i of course said sure i want to go ..and then she said she wanted to go and work for a while and i was like holy cow..live there?! i have considered living over seas but india was not my choice for places to go...now i think about it and wonder you know..if the option came up seriously would i take it? would i put everything on hold to travel and live and work over seas for a few months? i dont know..i want to say yes but the whole idea scares me..i look at my life and wonder what do i have to lose..maybe it will be an exprience ill never get again..and going with yvonne would be a heck of a lot of fun..for my degree it makes sense that i would consider it you know..go work in an orphange over seas..so help out in a third world country..give up the joys of driving and interenet and tv..but what would i learn there? would it be worth it? i just dont know..i cant decide at all right now and no its not happening like tomorrow..there is still all summer to look at it from every possible way...but i have to decide you know..i have to figure it out..because im torn between wanting to go and being able to go over being deathly afraid of going to country like india..not that its bad or anything but thats like jumping out of my comfort zone with no looking back and no way of returning...yet a part of me knows if i could go i would really like it..i would learn a lot..but maybe ill have to poke that part of me with a stick until it stops trying to influence me