in therapy yesterday...we talked quite a bit about cutting and addictions (yes i actually started talking first..big shock i know)..and i asked why she hadnt asked to see the scars..because trust is a big deal and i often wonder if ppl look at me and consider me a liar about things you know..i dont look like i would do something like cutting and i always think ppl consider me too nice..too quiet to ever do such a thing as scar my body and on purpose..they wouldnt know how to take it..but anyway..she asked if i would have shown her if she had asked..and of course i said no...and that was the end of it for the most part..but then i thought about it a bit more later on in the middle of work no less and it was like suddenly i wanted her to see them.some of them anyway..i wanted her to make it real..make it so that i couldnt ignore them or pretend they werent there...i cant accept that i do it ..i cant expect anyone else to accept it..but with the T at least she can see and acknowledge them in ways i cant right now..at least there would be someone to hold me accountable in some way..because i cant seem to get that anywhere else in my life...