..sigh

ive pretended so so much that everything is ok and nothing is wrong that i dont know whats true and whats not anymore..i dont know whats real..im so used to just pushing everything away and now im being asked all these questions and stuff and i dont know what i want to believe or what i should believe..i want to go back to where everything was just there and i could ignore it and make it all go away..and i cant now and its all scary and makes me want to question everything and its so hard..