this one i will have to work on a little at a time..my thoughts have slowed at least and now all the little pieces i missed in the last post are coming up in a way..
my life is a bit of a joke in some ways..i wake up, live in some sort of way, work, watch mindless tv, and go to bed to do it all over again the next day and the next day and the next..my life is ruled by whether or not i have the approval of mommy..that dictates my day..that dictates what i can or cant expect to happen..
i get afraid of changes..making changes..and then start to resist everything..good or bad..i dont know what to trust most of the time..i get so sad and dont know the reasons behind it..im unable to talk myself happy..i cant listen to myself..i can go away if i so choose when ever i want too..sometimes it feels like there so much inside of me that ill just explode if it doesnt come out some way..maybe thats why i cut and do all that stuff..
actually..hmm not feeling ok enough to finish this for now..will have to come back to it..
sorry
No comments:
Post a Comment