so..

someone told me i needed to do something fun for myself after my not so great weekend, sooo im going to the movies tonight! very cool im getting to see harry potter again, not so cool i have to go alone but not the end of the world either...but it so helps that its on campus otherwise i wouldnt have even considered going. ive been thinking about it all day for random bursts of excitment..i cant wait for the next book and movie to come out..both sometime in 07 and that seems like light years away..classes were ok minus practice..for some reason i just dont like the class and i really conisder not going every week..i dont know if its the teacher or the class but i just dont like it..bia was well bio and i didnt do great on the quiz today.stupid mistakes again..now im just waiting until its time to trek across campus for the movie..inadvertantly i was looking at some of my old old writings, poems and things and yea i learned i can be incredibily morbid but some are good i guess and some are just weird and some i have no earthly idea how i came up with them..its like i will write them with a disclaimer just to remind myself none of it was from exprience..otherwise yea i might be convinced i should be in a hospital or something but anyway..i think ive lost my whole zest for poetry or something..im only working on one right now but looking at the dates ive been working on it for like 8 months! i guess writing is one of those things you cant rush or something..i finally printed out all that stuff yvonne wrote for my benefit and reading them just makes me smile..prolly easier for me to understand than some random person since most of them have so turned into you had to be there to understand..still i think ill keep them, embarassing or not..maybe ill take them with me next time i have to see arran, if nothing else they will keep me from freaking out..ive also been getting a lot of questions from catrina about cutting and it gives me stuff to think about and question but she like everyone else still has the ultimate goal of getting me to stop hence somehow i figure out that it really is dangerous..and its not that i dont know i just dont bother to care about it most of the time. but still i consider it most of the time...like today when it was killer hot and i had on long sleeves because my arm isnt in order yet to get away with short sleeves yet..i have to wait for scars to finish fading out enough to be ok with them again..stupid me for cutting that low anyway..anyhoo movie time and i dont want to be sad before i go to the movie so ill finish tomorrow