Wednesday, March 22, 2006

fighting sleep...again

im tired, i know im tired and i was ready to go to bed like 20 mins ago before i got home and now i just dont want to sleep ...if it was possible to sleep without really sleeping then things might work a bit better..i keep forgetting i actualyl have work due that i still havent bothered starting..not great but ill get it done i guess...went to see brokeback mountain tonight with yvonne and im not sure what i think about it..after all the awards and reviews it was kinda disappointing actually seeing the movie...that and the movie messed up and a huge part from the middle went missing and it was hard to hear...ill just have to watch it again to really get what is going on..i know the basics but i dont like watching a movie short of it being in a different language and not being able to hear..the guy just wasnt talking loud at all and it was annoying..i was watching the movie and it was sad, the ending was...not that it was a bad movie or anything i just think i missed the finer points of it..so ill see it again when it comes out on dvd...i got phase 10 cards from renee as a belated xmas present and that was rally cool since i loved playing the game when she was here last summer..

and now im more awake than when i started..and now im back to being slighty afraid to sleep, and incredibly close to crying..my mistake for bringing up my dream even if i did want to know what it meant..and now that i kinda know i dont like it any more..my head hates me, no idea how i manage to come up with some of the stuff i come up with..and all of it has some point that im still not getting..earlier i really wanted to cut but didnt and after a while that went away a little but now its back..i want new ones..there is something about the acceptance thing that im still not getting..but i dont want to think about it anymore

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