yesterday

I was on the receiving end of one of those conversations i dont like at all. The one that points out that i am just playing games and not going forward or making any real progress and that im nit trying hard enough. The question was raised about how i can be helping other people when i am not even helping myself. My feelings are hurt. Except im not even sure if i have the right to be hurt about what i was told. She told me i needed to make a choice. I needed to decide if i wanted to truly be better to be free. But once again i am being pulled into everyone elses idea of what better looks like because i dont know. Am i really just telling everyone what it is that they want to hear? Am i just playing along and just saying all of this stuff and not really applying any of it? I dont know what it is that i am supposed to be doing or what i need to do to get
Better. Im at a loss really. Im feeling pretty down and just really unsure of things. I just want to take a break from everything for a couple days. I need to think. I need to just get away from everything right now. Its all making me feel so tired and overwhelmed and unsure