thoughts on perfection....

f@#kin Perfect
-Pink (love her!)

Made a wrong turn, once or twice.
Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look i'm still around.

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You're fuckin' perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong.
Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead.
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game.
It's enough! I've done all I can think of.
Chased down all my demons, i've seen you do the same.

Woah ohh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You're fuckin' perfect to me.


The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear.
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere.
They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair.
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time.
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby!
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel.
Like you're nothing, you're fuckin' perfect to me yeahhh.
You're perfect, you're perfect!
Ohh pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel.
Like you're less than fuckin' perfect.
Pretty please, if you ever ever feel, like you're nothing.
You are perfect to me...



i cant begin to tell how many songs i listen to that reference perfection..being perfect..striving to be perfect..and how its not possible...logically i do know and understand that i am not perfect and that i will never be perfect..but that does not stop me from trying..from convincing myself that i can be perfect...that i just have to try a little harder..that i have to force myself to want it a little bit more than everyone else..and it doesnt matter that i know i am setting myself up for failure..i do it over and over again.. i set myself up time and time again with golas that are hard..with expectations that i cant meet...and when i fail..then i have a reason..logically then i have every right to be mad at myself..to hate myself..to say that i am a failure..that im horrible..that i just cant do anything right..it is a horribly vicious cycle..it is..and yet i am still firmly stuck in it.  i listened to linda tell me that no one in perfect..and my thoughts about that was that I have to be perfect..i have to just try a little bit harder ..i have to want it bad enough..i listened to her talk about all of that and i disagreed with it all and then just became upset because i cant explain what my drive to be perfect is or where it comes from..or how i manage to fail at it so very often..