this is really a moot point...it is..but im gonna write it all the same
HOW IN THE HELL HAVE I MANAGED TO GAIN SO MUCH DAMN WEIGHT IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME?????
and no im not looking for an answer to that because i know how..and i even know why..but i dont like it at all..and so yes i have a week of fun because im not going to worry on my trip..but coming back...ugh there will be some changes..this is ridiuclous and i am ashamed of myself and my actions..and even though they were intentional at best they were not good in the slightest..and it is just upseting you know ...i know better..but my thoughts and depression and anxisety got the best of me...ugh...i have slacked off big time with everything lately.and all i lieterally do is eat and sleep and work and lay in bed...fuck fuck fuck -sigh- i know better..i do...and once again there is no one stopping me but myself..and well that can change easily...very very easily...
i do have a plan though...goals...whatever...
all the usual stuff..to force myself to ggget out of bed and out of the house..
i plan on joining the y
i plan on rejoining weight watchers
i plan on listening to my darn docs and not spending all the time in bed
how much ive gained in such a short amount of time is ridiculous....it really is ..but mommy is just gonna have to flip out on me about it some other time...i dont have time for it..i really dont...im not stupid..you know..this is nothing at all new...but its just 10 pounds can make a huge difference you know ..blah
and yeah ..i have no interest at all in being weighed at my doc appt tomorrow ...none at all...i will wait until my nov appt ...to do that again...and go from there....
No comments:
Post a Comment