you know yesterday i figured out that i have the most clients out of all the counselors..i have 5 ...where has the others are anywhere between 2 and 4..and im not even sure about the 4 one..it may be 2 -3 ..but somehow i have 5??? how in the hell did that happen?? i mean i love my clients i do..and i find it hard to even think about having one switch to someone else..but really i have the most?! essh and currently one of my clients is running me ragged..and im trying not to complain because i know that i will be missing a whole week of work soon..and im gonna need the extra hours you know...but geez im tired...
and today is reg doc and therapy....really need to talk to the therapist about the whole break down thing last week..and i guess developing a plan for her long stay out of town will be in order..but my pdoc already said i could come and talk to her if i really needed someone to talk too..so i have an appt to see her next week..which will be helpful i think cas i do like talking to her..well talking to both of them..and i think i have an appt scheduled with my old t for one of these weeks and i really should find that out..cas its been awhile since ive seen her..and prolly need to see her..or at least go and pay on the bill..blah
still no s/i since 7/22...i dont think ill be forgetting that date for a good long time..thanks to what happened
but the b/p is picking up again..damn...cant win for losing it seems...but this is one of those months where money is just not working out.and so im worried about bills a lot right now...an not able to pay rent until the middle of the month..and trying to keep money for the trip and just..ugh..trying to do what i can you know..but its hard..and the extra fees for late rent kill me ..ugh..but the smaller bills need to get paid cas if not then stuff is getting turned off and i dont like that..and i know i can pay on the 15th..but its just a pain you know..having to worry so so much about it all...its freaking me out because i just keep thinking and worrying and ugh .. i realize i was going through a bad time for this particular pay period..but it still bites..seeing that my check was not enough to get everything done..and plus having to pay back mommy for borrowed money immediately...so just dont have the money...but not having the money is possibly getting me out of going home this weekend which has calmed some things down inside at least...because now it is all pushed back to the weekend of our trip..and so it will all have to get taken care of them..but then i cant really stay at home either cas of having to get to where im leaving from..so its gonna be a lot of running around that weekend before leaving..a lot of driving for sure...and im super scared and worried about my car...like literally..i was told that my tires are bald..whatever that means..but pretty much i need new tires..i cant afford new tires right now..but now im so nervous driving my car you know..especially with having clients in my car and all of that..and that has me feeling really freaked out..with all the driving i do..i need to get new tires not used..cas im forever driving..but new tires are so freakin expensive...ugh...and im quickly moving into i hate life mode so im gonna stop...
deep breaths..and calm down...cas right now there is not much i can do...so the hope is to get as many hours as i can..so that ill have the extra money coming in through the holidays which is its on source of stress and what not...but trying not to focus on that right now...to much is currently in my head to worry about the holidays and expectations right now...
besides this is going to be a good week.. gosh i hope this is going to be a manageable week..we are seeing kathy tomorrow and going to the fair (for work of course) on thursday if the weather holds..so something to look forward too ... just gotta remember that ..
ok ive rambled on enough...time to get back to finishing my late paperwork of course...
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