things have been quiet..and its not been a good quiet...s/i is started
again..and not sure about that..it doesnt bring much relief but i think
its just being done to do it...to try to look for relief or peace of
mind..or something .. i dont know..
just feeling really not ok
lately...sad, upset, suicidal..the cutting does calm the suicidal
thoughts...but still its taking a lot to calm the thoughts..i have
everyone around me thinking ive sprained my wrist because i keep it
wrapped up when im not at home...no need for the stares or questions..im
not up for it..im really not
zero motivation to do
anything...all i want to do is sleep and well possibly die..but i am
still managing to go to work..just not turning anything in..ugh..
july
really truly is not a good month..and the farther into the month it
gets..the worse we are feeling..the anniversary thing is at the end of
the month..so its like the anxiety and stress of it is just building up
and there is not a way to release it...so im isolating..i go to work and
come home..yesterday involved shopping ... but even that was a short
lived break from reality..still came home and crashed..i dont want to be
around anyone right now..and have been skipping church and everything
else not related to work...i just come home and do nothing..and
everything is just a mess and i feel crazy and sad and just not able to
cope right now...
i dont know...im just tired of everything...tired of all of this..tired of life in general
No comments:
Post a Comment