drained

i want to write but i truly dont think i have any words left to say..ive worked very hard to ask for support this week from friends.and i feel like i just complained a lot..its hard asking for help..hard admitting that i even need help...i did make an appointment to see linda next week though..in addition to the new lady..

my head is feeling scattered all over right now..and i know im just tired and will be sleep soon...its about to storm anyway..but ive already taken my meds so i know ill be sleep soon..

sometimes i just get tired of thinking and worrying..which is prolly why i took extra meds yesterday because i wanted to make sure i just slept and didnt think..i didnt do that today..but i cant say that the thoughts arent there a bit...little whispering that i can just escape for a little while..it would be so easy...blah..the doc will stop giving me that med if i tell im taking it wrong..geesh..it took me forever to get it..and really if she knew how much i liked the med ..she would prolly stop giving it to me..but ill deal with that later...im tired of dealing with things...i really do just want to sleep,,,

im not quite ready to write about my sister and feelings about all of that and this day and ugh..it just makes me sad..

work was helpful today with getting me out of my head..and i just hugs and snuggles from my almost child :) and that did make me feel a little better too..

so now the goal is to make it through the weekend and make it in one piece..i really want to sleep the weekend away but im going to try to get out .. depending on how im feeling...the need to hide and keep myself contained may keep me trapped at home this weekend..i dont know..

its friday..the weekend..and im ready to fall asleep..yes my life is so exciting..blah