im s ad..i feel like i cant do anything and the sadness is just taking over..if i stop and think i start to cry again..but i cant seem to find any interest in anything at all..work is a struggle ..getting out of bed is a struggle..dusti was my family and its as if my family is partially gone right now..and i know that the world wont stop just for my sadness but i wish it would..i know that i have to get my head back into work and getting stuff done..but im so afraid of things right now..and i want to hide and just have things quiet..i want to think and be ok and not have to feel so sad ..but i am sad..im hurting a lot..and i dont know what to do with the feelings..at all..i struggle to form words right now..and everything is just covered in sadness..dusti is gone..and its hard to move past it right now..its only been what 3 days..and i feel like im being pushed to rejoin the world ..and i dont want too..but i also realize that me trying to stop everything and ignore everything is not going to help anything at all..i dont want to think about getting another cat..not right now..right now i just want to worry about bounce and getting her taken care of making her life enjoyable and fun...i know in the future i will get another cat..but not right now...and now isnt a good time cas of money and stuff anyway..one cat until things settle does is good...but i know bounce will need a play mate..and so another kitten in the future will be good..but for now..its just bounce...i need to get a picture printed out and framed of dusti..i dont know what it will take to move on and to feel happy again... i have moments of happy feelings or i will laugh at something and then ill remember that dusti isnt here anymore and i dont want to be happy anymore..:( its hard...
but i have a job intterview today...a last minute kinda thing..that im going to go to and try my hardest on...im not holding out much hope for it..but i will go and see how it goes and try my hardest..and then after that i think ill stop by and see my 2 clients that ive been not seeing this week due to being so emotional..and out of it...and then ill have the weekend to have quiet and do whatever..because come monday its back to work full time..and no more slacking off or not turning stuff in..cant do that..ugh..
No comments:
Post a Comment