well

things are well moving along in some ways..still rather screwed up in others...the nervousness about going home is starting to really set in..and im freaking big time...i am..im trying to stay present and just deal with where i am at right now..but its a little harder when i know i am looking at going home tomorrow and being home..and what it means..i dont know :( ..i know i have to go home..i know i have to get things done with my car and that i cant put off going home..i know that..but still..its hard..and i border on backing out..changing my mind and just saying screw it to everything...but i cant do that either..i have to manage some how..and that means getting things done some how...

gosh...yesterday was an adventure...i ended up having some fraud thing going on with my bank account and it had to be closed..which is a huge inconvenience..and i think a couple payments i had ended up not being completed which is frustrating..but im trying to see the positives of having a new account and all of that..but still its a hassle..but id rather feel safe and not have random things coming out of my account..and all of that..so yeah...but i have to go and get it finished today..and all that..

yesterday was awful body wise...i felt so sick and was having big time stomach pains and was miserable for most of the day..i made it to some of my work stuff..but not all..and yeah..managed to eat last night and it was ok..and didnt end up sick...i was worried for a little while but my stomach decided that it would keep the food..but im feeling much better today..and for that i am happy..

i have to catch up with work stuff this weekend..and i think i should be able to do it..i was told that im going to be written up this time for being late and i told my supervisor that i accepted the consequences for being late..and i do and i knew that it was going to happen..and now i just need to get back on track...and stay on track..seriously...its like i just need to catch up and go from there...catching up is key though..ugh..and i will go from there..

but i have insurance ! oh my gosh it was so nice..i got my card and everything..and i was able to get my prescriptions yesterday for 10 bucks!!  i didnt ask for the non generic of one..but without insurance they would have been over 200!! and i then both for 10..and it was so less stressful...but i went to a different pharmacy..and again the look of the meds have changed...and i dont know...i dont like getting meds from walmart..which ive decided...cas its like walmart has cheap prices..but its like they have the generic form of the generics..and i dont understand completely how the same meds can supposed change..but yeah..the ones i got last night are similar to the ones ive had in the past but there not the same as the ones i have currently..and its just confusing..essh...but yeah..i have insurance..and now i just have to keep it as long as i possibly can..! ugh ...so much to deal with...blah

but yeah..guess thats all of my issues..and well im not tired lol..right now..

and well there is the incredible sadness over one of my clients and that his foster family is giving him back and they want him gone before christmas :( :(  that is really truly bothering me a lot..and makes me very very sad..