a lot on my mind

you know i had this open yesterday...pretty much all day and i didnt write anything..nothing at all..and i dont know what stopped me..i really dont..i was ok you know..yesterday morning..i was..nothing major went on..nothing important..should have done work and didnt but thats nothing new...i caught up on some work phone calls..finally...and just kinda wasted time...not sure completely ...but then last night..i dont know..something is really bothering me and im not sure what it is...im feeling really sad and just i dont know out of place or something..i dont know what i want or dont want..or what i need or anything right now .. fell asleep super early last night but i think that was because i didnt want to deal with my head anymore..but then waking up at 2 cas i cant sleep is a pain in the butt too..i just wish i could figure out whats bothering me so much right now..and maybe i have some ideas but i dont want to get into them cas they are things im ashamed of feeling..all related to body issues and stuff