Tuesday, August 03, 2010

i just keep messing up

yeah im pretty sure i was ignoring everything yesterday evening...just got overwhelmed and upset and very very angry..didnt realize what had gone on bothered me so much but as the day went on it just got worse and mommy yelling at me about it didnt make me feel any better at all...so i went to the meeting and well i did forget everything mommy had told me to say the night before..and so i went and told the truth and all that..and all it got me was more forms to fill out before my case can even finish being processed..no i really dont want to get my job to sign the papers the social services place gave me..and no i dont want to go and talk to my old supervisor and have her sign anything for me..and i just got so upset because thats a bit much and i dont need them ..anyone knowing that i cant even afford food...and because i got my last check in july when i filed ..my case is not able to be sped up..they have up to 30 days to make a decision :( and so yeah..i left there upset..and called mommy and she got mad at me for not lying and yelled at me..and that sent me away and i just wanted to cut pretty much..and just wasnt interested in anything at all..considered not completing the forms and just not getting food stamps...i mean theres still a chance i wont be approved anyway..but i dont know what to do...i was going to see about asking my supervisor today if she could just write me a little note that says i work there and will be getting a paycheck in sept..but i dont know really..thankfully i found the termination letter from my old job..so i dont have to go there..and then theres one for mommy cas she loaned me money..and yeah...its just stupid and i messed up..and i cant do anything right at all..mommy told me not to say half of the stuff i did..and i still said it..cas i was stupid and forgot what she told me...:( i just cant do anything right..

so im feeling a bit stuck right now..and still upset..and im no longer hoping for anything at all..

but after all that mess..i had to still go to my staff meeting..which lasted for ever..but it was fine cas i did ask to come to the later one..but i did get some answers to my questions..and all that ..which was helpful..and then i guess i was ok during the meeting..and then i left and started to go home and just went down hill really fast...did some not so great things last night i guess..but oh well..i didnt care..and im not sure i care now..but i didnt hurt myself or anything..just didn't make the greatest choices..and what not..but thankfully went to bed as early as possible...

1 comment:

walking with the lord said...

you did the right thing telling the truth to welfare...if u had lied they would have found out and you would definitely been denied....your mom is a loon for yelling at you....she is completely wrong for being angry at you because you didnt lie....

now never be ashamed you cant pay for food...let me tell you i have been getting food stamps for decades....and when the economy started really crashing...i seen men in business suits coming...they had their brief cases applying for help...so never be ashamed of it..you have the right to eat...you got to get pass what your mother taught you...even your mom thinks you will qualify and all....but shes wanting you to lie which is wrong....

just keep telling the truth...i still havent received ur email about your bills and all so i have been able to call around and see who can help....so dont forget to email me...blessings girl