struggling with keeping silent

It was a hard day yesterday, disappointing in so many ways. Now I know what it is about the girls in the group that rub me the wrong way when they are all over the place like last night. I would never use my past as a way to make my behaviors now okay. I would never treat anyone with the amount of disrespect that they use with staff there. I dealt with a lot growing up and I am not dimishing there issues or struggles at all, but being hurt doesnt give them or anyone else to right to treat another person like shit. Its not fair, especially when I have done nothing to them. I do not make excuses, I do not use therapy, or cutting, or anything else I struggle with as a way to get over, as a way to acheieve some goal of proving I can get away with anything I want. It is not fair at all, and I do not like it. They are not getting the big picture at all, and they can sit there and point out someone elses behavior and then blame there behavior on the fact that they are in treatment. It makes me mad, and bothers me because they wont be in treatment for forever, they will have to rejoin the real world, and they cant deal with it. They are going to end up just getting themselves in a whole lot of trouble with how they treat people.

and so when one of the girls last night asked me about my attitude i let het know I was dissapointed and upset..and that their behavior had been unacceptable..its like they think there behaviors just disappear..like they can act like the biggest jerks imaginable and then conviently forget about it when it suits them..i dont forget or forgive that quickly..i dont care who it is..yes ill be at work on monday.. and yeah ill have to interact with all the girls..but there is nothing written that says i have to like them..and right now there are 2 that im really not liking..because they know better, because they are just trying to get over .. and because they are being so so so selfish.not once did they consider the outcome of there actions..not once and thats what pisses me off about it..because theres the entire group tothink about..not just the two of them..and ugh..i was mad..i am mad..disappointed upset..all of it..the inabilty to let the anger go makes me question my job a lot right now..and again its one of those do react or do anything while so upset because then ill regret it..and its been 3 months..and there have been a lot of weeks where things were not like this..but the past week and then this week its like they are just off the wall and it sucks..i know it wont last but its stressing me out..

i dont know what i need to do right now..i really dont