Monday, July 13, 2009

starting to get stressed

well its monday again...ugh...not to thrilled it seems..have a really bad headache today..right now..just wanting to go back to bed..lots of worries about different things filling my head..trying to figure out how im going to be cramming everything that i need to do into this week.. so much to do it seems and im trying not to let it be overwhelming and i think its getting there.. :snoopy too much to think about..too much to deal with..oh boy..yes i think i really really need to see linda this week..just to have a bit of calm in the midst of a whirlwind..

just trying to even remember what i need to do..and i think i should prolly write stuff down..i have to make up an hour or so with work this week cas i flaked and didnt show up last week..so i think ill just stay later tomorrow since t was moved to a different day..and i have to get paperwork finished for today and turned in so that will be on less thing to stress about..need to figure out some place to do laundry this week..and other work stuff..if ill be babysitting..what im going to do about my prescription that i cant afford to fill..i have to reschedule pdoc cas i cant afford to see him either this week..the usual work and other issues going on..and in that im sure ill be cramming in transporting my brother to and from work as needed... i think im just stressed...and its a different type of stress i think..maybe it just feels different cas of seeing things differently lately..i dont know..

lol..so i wrote all that and then forgot what i had to do for the rest of the week..guess i should make a list huh..i have been thinking lots and lots about money and issues and moving and all that will involve and i hate how that to deal with all the stress we keep moving the date back..but it makes no sense to stress over it so much you know..so we finally picked oct 3rd to move..because of having to pay for so much other stuff right now..and needing to catch up..and having more time to go and check out stuff in va..finally just decided today that money wise it may not work out as soon as i want it too and i just refuse to borrow the money from mommy to move...i will not have her complaining and blaming me for her not having money..and then demanding that i pay her back before anything else..i hate that and so if i want to do it myself then that means pushing it farther away..but today i picked oct 3rd and thats what i will be working towards...i hope..its makes sense doesnt it? seems logical and well thought out right?? sometimes i wonder whether or not im making much sense

but im feeling better..work was work and it was ok...finished paperwork enough to turn it in tomorrow..and have to work tomorrow and then wed is linda..and thats cool..im hoping i wont be conned out of money by money for gas cas im trying so so hard to hold on to that money for t and not spend it on anything else..even gas..i just need to make it to the weekend and then i get paid next week and can afford stuff again..but for now its like uh no useless driving at all

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