blah

i cant believe work is turning into a hassle right now..and it is more office based stuff ..like one person quit and just didnt show up over the weekend which meant that the other group was short staffed and they were supposed to be leaving for dc on sunday..well they couldnt leave and they left after lunch today but now there whole trip is off...and the manager had to go with them to fill in..the other group is short staffed for an entire shift..im worried they are going to start pulling the counselors from my group and moving us into the other group to help make up staff...but with two ppl gone or leaving it is haard on that group..that is one of the reason i wont just leave in the middle of the semester..i want to see these kids go home..good or bad i want to see it..and then of course there are van issues and renting a van and its like there is no way im taking a short bus to dc ..heck no not gonna happen..we had to take one to fla last semester and the kids spent more than one day in a broken down bus and at the mechanics it was not fun after the first time it happened..and that was a two week trip...i talked with jim today when i was more awake and not as annoyed with the time..but its like..i will be just so surprised if anyone stays in the end..i really would be..enough is not being done to insure that ppl stay..we are treated like we can just pick up all the slack and thats not fair..but more than just that too..hmm it seems like all i do lately is complain..i dont mean to but i dont really talk and this is the only place..well our journals are the only 'safe' place to vent...oh and to make it better the parents of our kids are not happy there kids havent been taken to church..well most of the kids dont want to go and one or two do..well if one goes they all go..and im not a fan of church at all and have no desire to go or take them but it is becoming an issue and so we have to do it..none of them have church clothes and i would have rather dropped dead on the spot growing up before i ever went to church in jeans..its just not something that was taught that was ok in the slightest..i dont care how liberal your church is..i cant go in jeans..i would rather not go..no im not going to dress up but i just cant do it..and we will be working on sunday and so we have to do the church run..ugh...its not fair..why should i have to be forced to go to church when i dont really believe any of it...im guessing it will be more of a watching them and making sure they are behaving but i dont know...it doesnt make me comfortable at all ...

but on to other news..im actually considering all the mental health place on wed at some time and just see what the process is to go there...my insurance doesnt cover it that i know...but i cant afford to pay out of pocket either..so i dont know if it will go anywhere..but ill call and see..ive been thinking about it and if i want to be logical about it...i wouldnt be comfortable changing jobs without having someone to point out all of my stupid illogical reasons for not doing it..i really need to have a person who will tell me when im being unreasonable but still have my best interest at heart...so ill try..and if i cant do it then i cant and ill have to figure out something else..

we were told we get to plan what we are going to do in dc for our trip in a couple weeks..we are making some stops in va too but for the dc part we are told we are getting money and that is it..no real plan for our four days there..so jim and i are just trying to remember what other places we wanted to visit last time and didnt get the chance too..we are definitely going back to the zoo and touring the white house ..for that is only a couple days worth of things..we still have two free days to do whatever we like..and we have agreed to go to the Smithsonian and the holocaust museum..
guess i better go back and rejoin my group now..