im not feeling very thrilled to be at work right now..my feelings are hurt and im not even sure i can explain why that is..i hate being compared to other people..i hate it and its happened for as long as i can remember...it means im not good enough like i cam..it means there is always someone that is better than i am and its not fair..i hate that i do what im supposed to and i do my job and its the kids that are being stupid and selfish..they constantly compare what im doing vs what melissa lets them do..im not melissa and i dont work like melissa does and i dont want to be melissa at all..and yet they keep doing it and it hurts but i keep pretending that it doesnt..i keep pretending it doesnt bother me when they constantly say that they prefer to have melissa..its like well to bad you are stuck with me and what exactly is it about me that is so unlikable?? i wonder what it is that i do that makes it seem like i just have to be compared to someone else because i wont let them have there way...im not here to make sure they get to do the things they want to do im not..i dont get paid to make them happy like that..if they wanted to have there way then they can go home for all i care and right now i dont know if i even care at all..im tired of all of her little games and it annoys me..i know what my boundaries are with the kids and melissa just lets them do all this stuff like borrow her clothes and use her things..she lets them have there way and i cant do that...i may not be loud but i dont enjoy getting yelled at by the bosses for doing something wrong..and yet im still the one who isnt good enough..no im not a girly girl ..i hate wearing makeup..i hate dressing up..i like jeans and tshirts and things that are to big for me..that is how i work and thats how i like it..i refuse to change just so that a stuckup 13yr old will like me..im not sure i want that kind of like...i work with her and if a relationship cant form then to bad i guess..i know im not really doing anything wrong because the other kids i have no problems with..but yet it feels like there is just one kid who is intent on making things hard and then it is our fault..i dont get it..no im not that talkative but i do like to have fun and laugh and that just doesnt work with one of the kids..i hate that she is constantly calling us crazy or weird or freaks..im in a bad bad mood...