hmm

i noticed today that im pulling my shoulders up again..im not relaxing at all or something is really really stressing me out..i know im stressed but good grief it has been a while since ive noticed im pulling in again...i dont remember when or why it stopped last time but it does become a pain after a while. i have to constantly remind myself that im ok and that i can relax but it doesnt last for long if i have to keep doing it..

trying to get laundry done or at least a little bit of it so that ill have something to wear until i get home again..im guessing we will be taking the kids to do laundry after we are back and ill just wait and do the rest of my laundry then..not a big deal and fairly easier then than waiting and doing it now...still really tired and kinda out of it but still gotta go to work in a few hours...im guessing ill leave a bit after 5 and head in the direction of camp...i told jim i would be there after 5 and i guess we will be heading from there to the campsite around 6ish. i dont know yet if ill actually be climbing tomorrow..im not feeling much like climbing at all, i dont want to hike either but a job is a job and its not really about what i want all the time..so i just hope im feeling better and thats about all..

ive been thinking a lot lately about what my story is...not that i have a real idea but i think it would be a good idea to kinda start writing what i do know down because if i remember so little now i might forget all of it and i dont want that..so maybe i will..im thinking about it now and i wouldnt do it on this blog anyway because this one is just a mix of everything and it would be hard to seperate regular daily stuff to past stuff..and i dont want to mix it up for now...maybe ill figure it out and learn how to do it..but i think it will be hard since i dont really have a timeline for anything..all of it is just kinda smooshed together and i dont know ages or anything..its all more like ideas of what happened and feelings that came after it..but not really concrete things ..so idont know