finally home again..

so im home again for the most part...not really off of work right now but i was worried about dusti a lot and we were gone for such a long time..i wouldnt have been able to relax if i hadnt come and check on her and because of everything that happeneed on the trip i wasnt sure i would be able to just up and leave as soon as the other staff came on ...so here i am at home and not asleep..its going to be really hard having to get back up in like 4 hours so i can go back to work in time to wake the kids up and get them ready..im really glad jim was ok with letting me leave..prolly cas i let him take us to the orchid nursery place and was bored out of my mind but stayed anyway! it took about 12 hours to get back today from the outer banks...and when i saw the sign for hendersonville at like 9 tonight i really thought i was going to cry..11 days with no break is really way to long to be with them..and im just worried a lot right now because of everything that happened while we were away..while working it was easy to deal with it as much as possible with the kids and just forget about it..but without the excuse to work i know e verything i put off dealing with will start popping back up and ill have a few days to worry and stress and make a mess of things...and tomorrow will just be hard because it will be talking to linda and everyone about the whole cop fiassco..that freaked me out more than anything else and the fact that they followed us for the rest of the day...the kid it was about didnt care..he doesnt care it happened ..he doesnt care about all the trouble he caused and how much danger he had the group in trying to jump out of the van while it was moving..thankfully i locked the doors when he started acting out..it was horrible and im completely used to seeing him restrained at camp i guess and it worries me but theres its easier to deal with..this time he was on the side of the road being restrained in broad daylight after he wouldnt calm down and started biting ...didnt think that someone would see and call the cops..we were already on our way again when we were pulled over and first thought of course was speeding ..second thought was you have got to be kidding me and someone called the cops..geez we must have looked completely crazy sitting with and then restraining a kid on the side of the road..ugh..the cops talked to m and jim and the kid and they let us go..i of course freaked out more when i couldnt get anyone in the office to pick up the phone and i couldnt get anna or jon or anyone to let them know what happened until afterwards..and the whole thing just really sucked and its the second time in less than a month the cops have been involved with this kid..that issue being at the top of a million things that didnt go as planned on this trip..the good news we made it back with all of them in one piece and realativley okay..bad news..there were so many different things to deal with between them and then having horrible camp sites..we were under flood warnings and winter weather advisories and some of the kids didnt have the right clothes for the weather..one kid being in shorts and sandals for the better part of the trip becasue he didnt pack what he needed..it was so annoying getting them out there and then finding out half of them are missing clothes and jackets and that we dont have all the food we were suppsoed to have or we ahve run out of fuel and have to go and find some..or the tents and sleeping bags and clothes are all soaked completely have two days of freezing rain and all of them want to slee on the van...i could have hurt jon myself when we got to one of the camp sites and found out it was barely big enough for the three tents and ten ppl and covered in mud..and to make it better we were right next to train tracks! that trains actually used..oh i was so mad especially when we have the one kid completely obssessed with trains! and the older boys and there bright ideas decided it would be fun to go and explore the traintracks..oh fun with that one and then having to spend the next two days keeping the youngest away from them...our trip could be divided into what days we went to the grocery store and it really was almost every other day for a while ..we missed out on almost 2 days in dc because they werent listening to us at all and we refused to take them anywhere until all of them had come and talked to us about what was going on with them..they were antsy, i was antsy and when it was looking like we would be there for two full days i thought i was going to go crazy...jim made me leave for a couple hours and go and of course find a grocery store and just hang out for a while and i was more nervous about leaving and driving a 15 passenger van than anything else but i did it and made it to the store and back in one piece and did ok driving it ..went a bit slower than usual since i didnt know the area and had no idea where i was going and i had never driven anything that big before...there were issues with them wetting there sleeping days and then refusing to take showers daily when it became impossible to even be around them at all..i spent hours doing laundry and drying out wet sleeping bags and only got one thank you..i was called mean for not heling one girl stuff her sleeping bag or help her pack and for banning the other girl from helping her, i was called a jerk for demanding one kid take a shower becasue he smelled bad..i was called selfish and told i hated them more times than i can remember..its like they really ignore everything it is we do for them..basic needs aside..there were arguments over food and campfires and stupid things..and it was just stressful andtiring more than anything else..there was no escape at all and it was either laugh or cry and never stop..im so glad to be back..but bad stuff aside we did have good times..we hung out in raliegh and dc, jamestown, and the outer banks..we went to the zoo and saw the butterfly gardens and the tigers and lions and the baby meerkat and baby panda, we went to an atique shop and jamestown and hung out in downtown willamsburg in va, we went to the aquariaum in the outer banks and countless boring museums ..we were lost in dc and almost ran out of gas...the keys were locked in the van and me and jim spent countless nights sleeping in various places on the van after telling the kids that it was impossbile for them to sleep in the van...we rode through jamestown island and went to see the glassblower..and that was really cool..i have been upgraded to almost parent status with one of the kids after he sat with me in the imax movie we saw..i put my arm around him and he had his arm around me..and since then he was been rather intent on knowing what im doing and where im going...we played tag for hours a couple nights in a row..i burned a picnic table and jim talked them into taking pictures of it!! oh that sucked and i swear it wasnt me..i spent one night dropping baked potatoes into the campfire because i didnt know what i was doing trying to pick them up out of the fire with sticks..i was poked and pinched and tickled to death on st patricks day because i wasnt wearing green and jim made sure to point it out every chance he got and i was the one who reminded him st patricks day was coming anyway! me and the older boys had countless talks about food, movies, cartoons, and the art of batman and his inabilty to fly so he therefore sucks and is not a uspoer hero..we talked about houses and places to visit, we talked about my love of spaghetti o's and when we went to the grocery store i made a point of going and finding some and showing them although i didnt get any..i was endlessly picked on about the burnt picnic table and my cooking style when we grilled out...and i didnt mind and it was fun and it kept everyone relaxed as much as possbile so whatever..i pick on them back about silly things and its ok..but really the past couple days everything has just been on autopilot..i didnt care what i said or did..i just wanted to be away from them..my patience was gone and it was really hard not reacting to every little thing that went on. i just want tomorrow to be ok with linda and getting the rest of the trip stuff squared away so i can come home and just sleep for a good while..i cant relax just yet..im not sure i really will..im to worried about how i will react to everything once it all comes crashing down on me..without work to put it off there really is nothing holding it back and it really has me worried...dusti my main reason for coming home is alive and well..lonely but okay...plenty of food and water and nothing is broken so i say she managed herself fairly well while i was gone..and now i do feel a bit better about that...since ill be gone again for a while next month but at least everyone is going on that trip...we are splitting up the time there..a week on and a week off and already im worried a bit about it