i i

i dont think there is a word in the dictonary that can really explain how stupid and ashamed of myself im feeling right now..i just cant stop calling myself stupuid ..something told me not to throw up in the kitchen..right before i started and i didnt listen to my head and what happens?! the sink breaks and sudddenly everything is all over the floor and under the sink...the whole disposal thing just kinda fall out and i cant fix it..i have to tell the office tomorrow and then im going back to work on saturday and if they cant fix it what then?! im going to be in so much trouble..i cant calm down i cant think..i just want it to be ok and its not ..its far far far from being ok and its all my fault..i used to think getting caught throwing up would be the worst thing that could happen and well i was wrong.. completely and utterly wrong and now look where its gotten me..completely stupid and useless and ugh..im not happy at all right this minute and really really close to crying..im afraid to use to water abut i have to so i can finish cleaning up..i shouldnt complain because its my fault..and the cleaning up part i dealt with in all its grossness but having to tell them the sink is broken im not looking forward too ..i dont know how to handle it..i just i just cant beelieve this happened..i really cant ...i cant seem to get the throw up smell off of me and its freaking me out..good grief if i was looking for a sign i seem to be getting all of them at the same time ! could i have a bigger sign above my head that just screams look at what i managaed to screw up..stupid stupid stupid..maybe if i yell at myself enough it will somehow become more bearable..but im not holding out much hope on that one