Friday, September 05, 2014

im trying ...damn it

the more mommy calls me today the more stressed out i am feeling..and anxious..i dont know what to tell her..i dont know what to tell her and im just getting more and more agitated...im feeling upset about a lot of things and feeling completely unheard and ignored i guess...which just amplifies my feelings of needing to cut...i dont know what to do or what to say or how to really make any of this better...im just tired of fighting and struggling and not able to do anything..with getting paid today ..i feel more like a failure than ever...what the heck am i supposed to do..how am i supposed to fix this...my check is short 300 give or take....i dont have the money for anything and it upsets me...yes i paid rent for september but already i am worried about october and what that will mean..what will happen...how will i come up with the money...i am just feeling like a failure..stupid..selfish..i deserve to suffer i guess...since that seems to be the way im feeling right now..i dont have any answers ..and im frustrated...and a lot of different things are just getting to me...

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