shutting down. i want to shut out the world right now..im scared and worried and trying not to freak out..but already my thoughts are ahead of me..and im feeling incredibly trapped and let down...
i just keep thinking that mommy was right..and i hate that..i hate everything right now..
im angry at everything..my head hurts..my mattress is dead..and the floor is cold...
im just going to lay down and pretend i dont exist for a while ...
i really should have figured out that something wasnt going to work out..i really should have..things were going to good..almost good..i should have known better...my stupid life isnt worth anything at all..and so nothing really will work out i guess...if the apartment doesnt come through..i dont have another plan..i dont have any more ideas..i dont know what else to do..and im trying not to worry but all i can do is worry...i guess it was stupid of me to not realize sooner that something was up if they cant get an apartment to open up for like almost 5 freaking months....stupid stupid me...just stupid
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