waiting on a phone call...

i called my pdoc yesterday, and im still waiting for her to call back..and im freaked out by the fact that she didnt call me back yesterday..something needs to be done with my meds...the past few days ive done nothing at all..and it took some time for me to pick up on it but im depressed..and its getting worse..an im afraid its gonna end up with me losing my job..i spend my days just laying down..i go to work for a few hours and come home and lay down..i cant focus..im not motivated to do anything..and all of my paperwork stuff is suffering..and im just afraid i guess..and im still very suicidal..it got to the point the other day that i asked a friend if she would take bounce and dusti if anything happened :(..normally the 2 of them are all that keeps me here...and then the other night i was ready to give them away and just leave and go somewhere and never come back...i dont know whats going on with me at all..i should be happy and im not..i should be less stressed and im not..im just getting worse..and i cant even manage to tell linda everything that is going on...i suck...