got so mad and frustrated this morning with my job...i waited all morning and then went to pick up my check..and no one was freaking in the office who could give it to me! and i had stopped by before going somewhere else and so i couldnt hang around and wait and it just pissed me off..and im like i cant keep coming back and forth..and today is supposed to be payday..but i cant even get my check...ugh..and it made me mad..cas then i had to go to the bank and all that and was freaking out and everything..and so i wasnt able to get back to the office until like after 4..and then went to the bank...and thankfully between both my checks i can cover rent...but nothing else..and i have some choices to make concerning the money i do have...and yeah im ready to just say screw it to all things involving money.. :censor :censor trying to remind myself that at least im getting checks again..even if its not much..its better than nothing...over 2 months with no pay..and ive managed you know..thanks to a lot A LOT of help from friends and mommy..and my sister...and i hate needing to borrow money so much you know..cas well it brings up all sorts of feelings..and im hoping that will be a bit better now..and that im getting money coming in and i know ill have a paycheck every two weeks..and that soon it will add up..and that i just gotta work on getting in the hours..and ill start to see things improving...and yeah..so its still sorta touch and go..and day by day..but its something....for now its working..and i just have to deal with it...it will get better...it has to get better...and even with the best planning im still lacking what i need..and will just have to deal with the extra fees and bank issues later..without freaking out about it..cas this time around i can actually work on paying them back..
all that being said..im worn out..and stuffed up and in general rather cranky and out of sorts...went and got some meds earlier and have been taking them but im not sure they are really helping..and if they dont help by like sunday..then i have to look at the possibility of going to the doctor..and i cant afford that! but i have to work next week and need to have my head together..i have to work sunday and need to have my head together! ugh..but cancelled my evening person for today..cas just didnt have the energy to sit and talk to him and have to tell him to stop...and all that..so rescheduled..and will see how i feel on sunday..but either way i have to go on sunday!! but no work on monday..thankfully so ill have an extra day to regroup and get my head together.. and then next week it will be back to the usual lol..fun..but im hoping to sleep and not feel so stuffed up tomorrow...
greg is coming over tomorrow..cas he has to move stuff in for the moving truck thats coming in sometime this month ..and im trying to be nice about it and everything..and agreed to him coming..so now i just have to suck it up and deal with it..but im not up for him being here for long and i guess thats something we are just gonna have to figure out tomorrow..ugh..but yeah..its not like im helping him do anything...ill just be crashing on the couch..or something...nothing to thrilling you know...
but yeah i think maybe ill go and watch something on tv...need to get up and move and well maybe sitting up will help my sinuses clear a bit better..my goal for the weekend is to drink water!!!
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