worn out

well im struggling to focus and get stuff done to go home...obviously im not doing so hot if im still laying down messing with the computer..but i needed to check some things before i left and well then i had to write..and well here i am...again not doing a darn thing worth talking about...this has been a really really off week..

yesterday at work really did wear me out..i was asked to come in early and i did..and then i ended up having to do all the paper work from last night and ended up staying an extra hour and still didnt get it all finished and so i brought it home with me...i was literally about to fall asleep on the couch with all the paperwork on the floor..and the overnigiht staff finally told me to just go home and take the ones i hadnt finished with me..but that i would need to have them back by sunday..which i was like ok..cas it gives me a reason to come back on sunday at a reasonable hour..i do have to take them back though cas i dont want to be in trouble for taking them with me! but ill deal with it...and then earlier that day one of the girls pushed over the grill that we had usedd to cook on and the grass started burning! which was really scary..but we got it taken care of and put out and all that..but then the girl walked away and i had to follow her..and we ended up walking in the rain and i got soaked and that just kinda killed my mood...i wasnt mad at her..just mad at the situation..cas i had to walk around in wet clothes for like 4 hours! no i was not happy..and then there was a mix up with communication with the relief person i was working with last night..and one of the girls ended up walking outside at night..and when i found out about it..it was like darnit shes not supposed to be out there at night..and i had the relief person go and get her...but then she spent a couple minutes walking with one of the boys..and its was like holy crap im gonna be in so much trouble for this :unsure: and so im just worried about what is going to happen about that..i mean yes it was a mistake..and no i didnt do it..but im afraid ill be held responsible and lose my job ..and all that..its frustrating..but i called my supervisor last night and told her about it..so that it wasnt like i was trying to hide it or something...so i guess i did what i could and now i just have to wait and see..but its just worrying me a lot.. :snoopy

but trying to let it go i guess for now..if anything happens it wont be until monday when i go back to work..so yeah..

not really feeling good right now..i think its just a mix of everything..and then random cramps and allergies and everything just happens at once..i cant say im to interested in taking that 4 hour drive home..im really not..but im hoping ill be up and moving and out of the house by 1 at the latest..so that gives me a little time to run around and clean up some before leaving..cas things are a mess right now..and i havent packed or anything..im just tired and worn out..maybe getting away will be good..i dont know..


i see the pdoc next week though..i think im going to ask her if she can go up on the effexor and maybe the trazodone..but im not sure yet about the trazodone..i dont know why im back to not sleeping and being so tired..and its just been within the last week that its been happening again..so im not sure..but yeah..guess i better start moving or something..