disappointed

i found out about the schedule today and i dont like it much at all...the only way i get off my birthday is if they put me in the 1 shift..but if im in the first shift then im not doing the dc trip at all and thats the one i really want to do..if i do the 2nd shift then i have to work on my birthday but i get the dc trip...right now i really have no say in it whats so ever but i really dont know what to do about it..i keep stressing and freaking out trying to find a way for it to work out and it doesnt seem like it will..not to mention i really dont think they will be letting me work with jim again..yes training is more organized but at the same time im still not really liking the way things are going..i dont know why but im not ...the boss doesnt listen completely and i hate talking about the same things over and over with ben and bob the two other official ppl..so i dont know..i may stay i may not..i cant figure it out at all..the way things are going im not feeling like i want to stay but at the same time im afraid to completely say i want to leave..i know there are tons of other programs i could move to but im not really sure where i want to go..if i stop working here its like well why dont you just go home for a while..and i know i cant do that ..mainly because i just dont want too..im not ready to go back to school yet..i dont want to be on a set schedule anymore and i dont want to more to a 9 to 5 job..i find that equally boring right now..so i dont know what ill be doing at all..i keep telling myself to wait it out and see..but all the little stuff that is going on is a pain in the butt..i dont ask for much but i ask for 2 days off and they are important days and im skipping the wedding i was supposed to be going to inorder to be here for the race we have to do but when i actually take the time to ask for a couple days off im told it may not be possible..are you kidding me?! i almost reduse to work on my birthday and i had plans for the day afterwards and ill have to let yvonne know not to waste her time and drive down here if im not even off...its not fair ... i keep looking at the schedule hoping to find a loophole into it just so i can be fair and get what i want and i cant...i cant seem to find anything at all and it took me most of the day to figure out that the dc trip was the second one..and that if i actually get the side of the shift i want then i cant even do the one trip i was completely excited about...not feeling incredibly positive right now it seems..