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im a horrible person..i cant seem to excape that much...


im tired of being called mean and selfish by a bunch of kids that are a step away from being sent to juvie and cant see a good thing when it hits them..

today sucked horribly ..and im left ignoring one kid completely because if i dont ill do something i really regret..not to mention with them its like my not swearing is the oddest thing ever..and im still waiting for an apoligy for what i was called today that still has me incredibly upset and a lot quieter than i usually am..not happy at all right now and was close to crying earlier...jim jumped in and made him leave and stood up for me before i really got around to understanding what had been said...jon came and took over also so that i wouldnt be left dealing with it later..and its not over at all...of all the kids to not have meds why in the world did they have to lose his?! just to make my life miserable it seems..and i know that in this job i cant let there comments get to me so much but maybe im still too new at it or something and i just havent learned to let go of whats said without dwelling on it..the im so mean comments i dont care about because well if they think im mean then they havent experienced much in the world at all..but after today im just kina stuck questioning everything and things are not looking great right now at all...i hope im feeling better tomorrow..and if not at least i get to go home on wed..thats prety uch all i want right now..and talking myself out of cutting..back to thesame old stuff