My head hurts

I'm really tired but I can't seem to be able to really sleep. Coming off of the meds is really messing with me..I'm tired, cranky, paranoid, and anxious. My head won't really stop hurting and today out of nowhere I guess I panicked to the point of crying. After picking at my face and finger..I'm going to have to figure out a way to get the meds. I don't know how but I will have to figure out something. I don't want to feel so suicidal again. I don't want to feel out of control..I feel so stupid for picking at my face. I feel stupid for biting my nails off and then biting at my finger until it started bleeding. Again two of those this is not a good idea after I've already done it. Thankfully today's breakdown happened when I was with Sarah and so I wasn't alone. And somehow Sarah figured out that something was wrong. She stopped watching the lword to check on me and to be there for me until I was able to calm down...she watched sponge Bob with me and held my hand and let me hang on to her pants until I was able to calm down and actually let her know I was okay. The crying tired me out but still I can't sleep...I can't seem to stay calm..I feel so drained right now...I'm not sure what to do with myself right now...I really just want to sleep and I cant