very very sad...

I got a message last night that let me know that a child i know and care for is in the hospital and that he has had another seizure...i was there for the first seizure he had and was able to help and support but this time it happened and i was not there..im not really able to get there..and i am scared because i am not able to be there and see him and see if he is ok ..i need to see him and hug him and talk to him and know that he is ok and going to be ok...i am not comfortable with them being so far away..and im beating myself up for not having the money to go and see them..and not being to help in any way at all..and so i am getting a little stuck in the negative mind frame..and i know it is just the fear and worry and anxiety driving it..but i want so much to be able to fix this and i cant and i just feel like a failure...all i can do is wait for updates and pray and hope and hope that it will be ok and the little boy will be ok..and i will be able to see him again...