A while ago..well its been a few months now..but there was this church i was going to and there was a big big disagreement and i was judged pretty harshly about some things...but i stopped going and pretty much lost contact with everyone who was there...there was one lady who i considered a friend..and even though i left the church i thought she was my friend and would stay in contact...well she didnt...i texted her on more than one occasion and no response..nothing...i let her know i had changed numbers and still nothing..and so i stopped trying to contaact her..i figured i had done my part to reach out and be a friend and she had turned me down pretty much..and this week..out of the blue she sends me an email and asks how im doing and to let me know that she had lost her phone ...for 5 and some months she couldnt text? call? contact me at all? but i answered her email..just saying hi you know..and asking how she was..and today i got a response back from her about possibly going to the get together thing on saturday ..the singlles group..and at first i was super excited about it..like yeah she really didnt just drop me..but then i started thinking about it and began to get nervous because well its at the church and that is a place i am no longer comfortable...and being nervous about who i would see and feeling put on the spot since i havent been to the church in months...and so the back and forth started up and i couldnt decide..i want to go because i do miss the physical comfort that i got from some ppl there...but i am afraid of being hurt again..of being judged...and its like going back would lead to so many other possibilities and im not sure if the pros outweigh the cons in this one..as much as i want comfort and care..i dont think it will be able to come from there..:( and that does make me feel super sad...
No comments:
Post a Comment