this weekend has been pretty bad head wise. like i just cant seem to get a grip and my birthday is edging closer and i realize that i will be alone for my birthday. just another day really you know. nothing speicial. nothing important. and i know people have there own lives and there own stuff. but it just sorta feels like im at the bottom of everyones list and no one has time to do anything with me. i dont know. i guess in my head i know thats not a fair assesment of the situations. but i guess thats just how i feel and that makes me feel even more depressed. and i did see the new pdoc and what not on friday. and my meds changed a little bit. and im not sure how that is working out. i had to lessen the lexapro and up the effexor. and i feel out of balance. hard to explain..and just feeling sick and crappy and you know the world sucks and i hate everything type mood.
but its monday and that means ive got to get my work done that i havent finished and rush around to find a couple clients..and then squeeze in lunch with a friend and staff meeting this evening. mondays are just way to busy for me..and well me not doing my work ahead of time just makes it so so soooooooo much worse...ugh.
well gotta go .. who knows maybe ill be a bit more upbeat later on.
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