head is major full tonight

wow my head is going a million miles a minute tonight.  seriously there is just a lot on my mind and im thinking about so many different things and so much stuff and im not sleepy at all..im actually fairly bored right now..but so many thoughts nad ideas are in my head..i want to get up and do something but there is nothing to do..im glad my birthday is over you know. i think i prefer celebrating on non birthday days..im weird like that.  i went to work today and my morning person had gotten me a little gift and i do like it alot and i told her she didnt have to get me anything at all..but she did..and it was sweet and i almost wanted to hug her ..but well im not big on hugs and all of that..but i told her lots that i liked it and appreciated her thinking of me.  and then i went to work and saw like 4 ppl today...i was so hot today though..like major rushing stressed hot..i thought i was overheating i was sweating so bad..and then my stupid air conditioner in the car is not working again and keeps cutting out and its making me mad..and i know i need to do like a million things with my car but now im all broke till i get paid again and then i gots to pay bills and you know all of that stuff..and i hate paying bills i do..i really do..and t is next week and i dont have the money for her..but i will at the end of the week i think..and i gotta do lots of paperwork this weekend and what not..and i hate the weekends you know. there is just nothing to do..i think maybe ill go to the library on saturday and work on paperwork some you know..so i dont sit in the house all day.  you know i talked to mommy yesterday for my birthday nd she like told me all the stuff i needed to work on and what not and i wanted to just tell her to leave me alone. i think i stopped listening after a while and just kept saying ok until she hung up. was that mean?  i hope i wasnt mean? i dont like being mean at all..you know i have 2 trips to plan for.  in oct and nov. and im getting my train ticket next week. and then next month i gotta figure out all the new orleans stuff.. im pretty excited about those trips...im not as excited about thanksgiving and christmas though..the holidays makes me sad..they do..i dont like them to much. i really dont. and then the year is almost over you know. already. its went by really super fast and i wonder what ive done with it...i think its been an ok year you know...not horrible not the best..but i am working and managing and well trying to manage anyway.  i want to do more fun stuff..get out of the house more. not isolate so very much.  im very much focused on my new two year plan...by the time im 30 i want a baby. and well it will most likely be through adoption or surrogacy but i do so want a baby. a family of my own.  so i guess that means i have two years to get my act together .. to act like an adult. to be an adult.  to get a better handle on my life. yeah thats my goals. well one of them. im losing a client next week..and getting a new one.  ill still have a full case load..you know now that its getting to be the holidays im gonna need to get in more hours at work. yeah..shopping and all of that..and i do sorta want a butt load of stuff..what can i say..i fully admit to being materialistic..i do..i just want and want and want and dont care how i go about getting it...blah..silly stuff..bad choices..you know the same old stuff..but im not cutting..does that count for something ??