feeling ignored...

today.this week...since my birthday..i have been feeling really ignored and i dont know why...i hate attention you know..but this week its like i want everyones attention..i want to feel special..important..something..anything..and instead i feel ignored..forgotten..lots, empty, confused .. im not feeling happy or positive today at all..and i dont understand how to deal with the feelings...i really want to cut..take out my sadness and frustration on myself..i do want too... im trying to stay busy with other stuff..im working on collages but i dont have the right pictures or words to really get out all of my feelings..when i get paid next week im going to have to see about getting some different magazines ... i just need to get out my feelings...one way or another it will happen...guess it just depends...but maybe ill go and take a nap or something soon..but for now..ill go back to working on collages...maybe it will help.