im feeling really very dejected right now...worried and just feeling really stressed...also struggling with really bad cramps and i just want to go home and go back to laying down for a while..but cant do that..im out until later on..so i guess i just need to suck it up and deal with it..actually slept all night last night...so thats good..still tired but its not nearly as bad as it has been..
got bounce to the vet this morning and got my windshield wipers replaced..
and as im doing all of this and realizing that well the money i have is only going to stretch so far and so i am a bit upset about not being able to have everything set up and in place and all of that right from the start...i dont have the money..and im upset about it...a couple unexpected things came up..and so i ended up with less money than i was planning on..and it is frustrating..i mean ill have the money for the deposit and rent ..but not much for anything else..and that is bothering me a lot..because i had it all planned you know..and things just dont work out like that..and im frustrated and upset...looking all over the place for living room furniture..but ha ve given up on bedroom furniture for now..i have enough to get by until i can find something that i really like..and i have a bed..so i cant complain you know..i just really wanted to have everything all set up..while i still had help with moving and things...but its going going to work out like i have planned so i am having to go back and regroup and replan and figure out what i can and cant do...and i keep reminding myself of my sister coming up and staying for a week and then traveling..and since im not going to have much money i want to tell her not to come..but i do want her to come ugh...plus i have to get food and other stuff for the apartment..and im trying to budget and everything and its all just feeling very messy right now...im going to look around in thrift stores and stuff this weekend and see if i can find some good stuff..and maybe ill luck out..i dont know..im waiting on responses to emails that ive sent ppl but of the 3 emails i think im only going to consider one based on price..and the others ill have to say no to due to being so expensive...its like i had it all worked up so much that now that things are kinda having to be replanned its a hard blow..and i just want to give up and say screw it to everything..but i have to remind myself that this is a good thing.moving and that it doesnt matter if i have everything at first...its ok..gotta start somewhere you know...and well i will just save and get other stuff as i can..just :( still disappointing a lot...
did reschedule my gyno appointment for later in march because i cant afford it right now...so that ggives me a little more time on that..and im trying to figure out how i can stretch my other bills you know..i think all i have left to pay right now is just my phone..and then ill be done with feb stuff for the most part..and will just be looking at stuff for march...but with that comes you know a lot of stuff..and additional bills..and i am catching up..but its still going to take time..and i just need to remember that..and that i will slowly get caught up and i just cant give up..so i will just work on one thing at a time..and of course the most important thing is getting the rent and stuff paid...and the rest i can work around..
no t next week...which is cause for some concern...but will manage all right i guess..and money wise i know i cant complain...and well i guess ill have to talk to my sister about money and stuff..and get all that squared away..i mean no we werent going to do like major expensive things while she was here..but just the traveling to get her back home..and making sure i have money for that..and a little spending money for food..cas will have to get groceries and stuff for the new place...possible cleaning stuff...and then all the stuff like paper towels and garbage bags and things...and i need a book case..i have books all over the place and i need somewhere for them to go..so that is a must..but most likely no circus...so maybe another time..a movie would be cheaper anyway..
guess im just kinda unsure of things and how they will be working out right now...
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