today

today has been ok...hung out at home, chilled out for the most part, tried to keep my cool you know..went to babysit for a while and back home and so tired right now..but a friend of the kids mom was visiting and i know her kinda you know..just in passing and well only see her a couple times a year because she lives in a different state...but i know her kids, ive watched her kids and she has been coming for years you know ..but every time she comes she asks me to come over and just see her, she talks to me about stuff but nothing serious but just funny stuff..how is it that i can see her twice a year and she tells me that she is proud of me, that i do a good job, that she loves me..i see mommy every single day, every single stupid day i see her and cant remember the last nice thing she said to me. linda asked me yesterday if mommy told me anything good or nice..and i had to think about it..it makes me feel stupid and sad to have to think about it and then not be able to come up with anything .. what is so wrong with me? what have i done that just makes me so horrible..