jobs

It is so easy and clear at times, to figure out what you have to do in order to make things change. The steps are so simple to look at and understand. When it comes time to implement the steps that is when suddenly it is not as easy. Filling out and mailing applications never get finished, there are so many reasons for not doing it. Changing things becomes scary and uncertain, and it is not that choosing to stay unhappy is what is important but changing things, moving on is something that is never expected. Settle for less because that is all you are good for is what the thoughts are at times. Settling is not living though, settling is only getting by. Getting by just is not good enough anymore. :2c I wonder if I was offered a job, a better one, a stable one would I take it? Would it be considered selling out on the job I have now? Should I base so much on a job that is not very stable?

I dont know
hmm all that being said, i have been looking around online again tonight, just seeing what is open and descriptions and stuff. Found one I would really like to apply for and hopefully interview for..that would make 3 i plan on sending in applications for. the last one being close enough to live home until we could save enough to move and not feel so stressed and rushed with it all. but at least i wrote down information for all of them and what i need and dates it has to be in by so i dont forget. i look at the applications and just feel overwhelmed completely..and immediately dont want to do it..but having hours cut again is not cool..i dont want to start with someone new..again..i dont want to add anymore driving onto what i already do..i dont want to get to know another family..i feel guilty for taking the new baby and then going and looking for another job..but also it could be a couple months before i get a job..and its not as if i can stop working completely :snoopy i just dont know..mommy keeps asking why i want to move far away..why i want to live alone..i dont know what else to tell her about that..maybe im just scared..and worried im doing something that i once again shouldnt do..but my options are pretty simple..move or dont move..work or dont work..be happy or not happy..but all connected in the easiest of ways cas at the bottom of all of it is mommy..and that just isnt working out so hot..even putting it off completely i have till monday to get the applications out and let them get there on time..id rather it was sooner though..maybe it is just time to move on..but im just not ok with the loss of hours yet again..