wedding bells and such

My sisters wedding is finally here!! Well they are married but the ceremony and reception for everyone else is tomorrow. Im glad its almost done. The stress was really starting to get to me and I am not even getting married. Have decided though that if I did get married then I would do it and then come back and tell everyone. haha

Nervous about all the relatives and people hanging around. Called and chatted with the T about it yesterday because I was starting to freak out big time about a few different things. Talking to her helped and it calmed me down some. Trying hard not to cut and so calling and writing was all I had yesterday. Glad I called but it is hard admitting you know. If I call then I actually have to hold a conversation! But it helped and she was cool with it. and she called today to check on me. I wasnt expecting that at all. It was nice though.

Went to the party last night for the sister and ended up having a good time. drinking and fun and goofing off big time..stayed up half the night just to have to get up and not be able to nap today lol. We are all going out again tonight and going to a drag show. I had forgotten you know how it is fun to just go out and not worry. The drinking helped with the not worrying part! But it was safe and we all stayed at there house. Lost count of the drinks after a while but it was cool. and the pictures are so funny! listened to them singing karaoke and boy of boy we laughed so hard at them.

The biggest eye opener was...my brothers and sisters do consider mommy to be a little crazy at times. Its not just me. I dont admit it you know but I do think it. Like with the wedding and all the visitors coming to our house mommy has been cleaning everything for over a week. Pulling everything out and then expecting us to help her put it back when all she is going to do is yell at us for doing it wrong and redo it her way. and its just a waste to try you know. but its odd being agreed with on it you know. Confusing to because we all grew up in the same environment for the most part and we are all different and i guess its just a lot to do with how you take things in and process them. I dont know.

Had issues also with the dress that i had to have for the wedding. had to try it on without sleeves in it and that was a huge huge problem...still worried about it but i guess after talking it over with the T that I just have to wait and see if anyone else brings it up first hard waiting because my thoughts can get away from me and think the worse what ever it may be..but its just hard and stressful too..sigh

but things are going. hopefully i will be alright and manage ok.