Sometimes I do wonder if somehow I am just so used to expecting nothing from anyone else when it comes to comfort and support. I really do wonder how it is possible to love some people but not others, or how its possible to give love to others when there seems to be none left for myself. Today has been a really bad day. My feelings got hurt and it seems so stupid because still it makes me cry and feel bad. Mommy pushed and pushed for me to get a car but she had to sign for it to and she couldnt do it yesterday, she said she would do it this morning before work. When it was time to leave this morning she wasnt ready, she was cleaning and doing other stuff. I asked her why she was doing that and not ready to go when she complained and yelled about how she was going to be late for work if she had to go and sign stuff for me. She told me I just wasnt important enough and that other things like cleaning and her job just had to come first. Guess I am not just really high on the list of important things or people who matter.
nevermind
it really doesnt matter
have to go to work. would help if could calm down a bit. maybe work will help. thoughts are all over the place right now and not many of them are to good. sucks big time that because of car stuff therapy had to be changed from today to tomorrow. cant figure out what im thinking about or what i want to/need to say..i dont want to say anything or even think for that matter..would help if the tears would stop..so much for trying not to cut. that was messed up before i even left home this morning. doesnt really matter you know. im tired of trying for no good reason
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