last night i had a really really weird dream and i wanted to write about it but of course as soon as i woke up fully i couldnt remember much of it..and what i did remember just makes no sense what so ever..and its confusing cas i keep trying to remember what happened to make other things happen and i just cant figure it out..so what i do remember is..
im in this place that ill call a school for lack of anything else and really not knowing what the place was..but it had desks and a bunch of other ppl..and im there and there is a guy sitting next to me..dont know who the guy was but i just know it was a guy..and for some reason im so so so mad at him..again i dont have the slightest idea why i am..but he is like one of the ppl in charge.. ok seriosuly im about to say i dont know how i know that but i just do and im starting to wonder if this was even a real dream! blah it had to come from smoewhere..so he was one in charge and im mad at him and somehow i decide to get back at him and start cutting my hand..dont know what im using but whatever it is its good because there is blood all over the place..and he sees and asks what im doing and i of course say im not doing anything..and he is trying to take away what ever it is im using..and im trying to keep it and im swearing up and down that i wasnt doing anything and that nothing is wrong and its like im ignoring the fact that my hand is seriously bleeding. in all of this..im guessing eventually he gets it away from me..but thats all for that part..before all of that happened i think i tried to kill myself..and i dont know what the pretense for that was but i kept thinking why was i trying to kill myself..and what made me want to kill myself..and i think maybe that might have been why i was so mad at this guy..or i might have just been mad it didnt work..i dont know..but its just so confusing..because a couple other things happened but im not able to even piece any of it together because i dont remember...ugh
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